The man’s anger begins to spill over into daily exchanges

DEAR ABBY: I’m getting more and more irritated with people. My fuse is short and I am prone to temper tantrums. Today I saw another driver run a red light, and I honked my horn, rolled down my window, and gave the guy my middle finger. (Yeah, I know it was risky, but I couldn’t resist the urge.)

I’m sick of people! They are, in my opinion, self-centered, inconsiderate fools who need to be slapped. Stupid questions also discouraged me. I don’t care about my wife and my children, which I don’t intend to do. What can I do to control my temper and not act like I did? Is something wrong with me?


DEAR GOOD GUYS: The “Season to be Jolly” has always been stressful, and so has its aftermath, when it comes time to pay the bills. This past holiday season has been more stressful than most for a number of reasons.

Anger is a normal emotion. Everyone experiences it from time to time. But rolling down your car window, honking your horn like a musical instrument, and giving other drivers the middle finger is not only reckless, it’s dangerous. These days, it could get you killed. For the record, bad humor is not a valid excuse to lash out at someone who you think asked a dumb question. If a request is sincere, no question is “dumb”.

Your loss of self-control – if recent – ​​could be related to frustration or misdirected anger at something beyond your control. Does having these feelings mean that something is wrong with you? Not necessarily, as long as you find ways to deal with your emotions before you explode. We are all human. We all make mistakes.

My booklet, “The Anger in All of Us and How to Cope With It,” offers suggestions for managing feelings of anger in a healthy way. It contains suggestions for constructively managing and channeling anger in various situations. It can be ordered by sending your name and address and an $8 check or money order to Dear Abby Anger Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling is included in the price.

It takes self-control and maturity to react calmly instead of getting angry. Recognizing what is causing these negative emotions can go a long way in helping you avoid blaming them on others. I sometimes wonder if anger management should be added to school curricula to help the next generation learn to communicate in a healthy way, rather than just reacting.

DEAR ABBY: My dear friend “Francine” loves male attention and flirts with males, married or not, at parties and other occasions. I don’t think flirting with married men is appropriate because it sends the wrong message. I don’t think their wives appreciate his behavior either. Am I out of place? I would appreciate your input.


DEAR OLD FASHIONED: Your dear friend may be doing this not because she’s trying to break up a marriage, but because she needs validation and wants reassurance that she’s attractive. If women find his behavior threatening, they can tell him themselves or exclude him from their meetings.

PS Is this “correct”? No. Does this happen? Often enough.

About Dear Abby

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.